She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
