please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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