i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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