Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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