my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize