I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Naked. naked and bneed help.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
