Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize