just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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