Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
