He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
