I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
