I intend to get homeless drunk
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
