You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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