what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
