I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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