my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
