Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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