Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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