I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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