hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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