I'm lost and stupid without you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
