walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
