i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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