Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
