the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
