make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
