Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
