I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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