I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
