My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
