let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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