shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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