sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
