He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
