Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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