his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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