you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
