I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
