I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
