People with herpes should wear stickers.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
