Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
