i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
