He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize