Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
