eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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