did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is Oprah even human
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize