I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
two words...techno handjob
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
