dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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