At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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