I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
