id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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