no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
