I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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