When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
