Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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