i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want her autograph on my taint
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Randomize
