yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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