Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You were trust falling into bushes
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
