i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
