I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
