she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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