I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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