i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
