we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
