i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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