..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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