I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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