After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
