were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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